How to Get Out of Your Own Way
This week’s blog is about how to get out of your own way, and how to curb the self-sabotaging tendencies we have when trying to start or build a business. Women are the ultimate self –saboteurs and we often stop ourselves from reaching our full potential. There’s lots of reasons for that, and all of these are magnified when we start on the road to entrepreneurship.
Be thin!
Be kind!
Be quiet!
Be perfect!
These are just some of the directions we are given from the day we are born. No wonder we can’t get out of our own way when we’ve been programmed to be compliant from age 0.
Is it any wonder we can’t ask for the pay rise or the sale? How can we get over this and shed the armour (as Brené Brown calls it) that we wear to conform to these societal expectations – hiding and pushing down how we really feel, what we really think, kicking ourselves for not being more assertive and asking for what we want?
We need to get out of our own way – and fast!
What’s more - in business, it can be exponentially worse. You’re constantly second guessing yourself, you’re hiding behind your business, your voice isn’t being heard. These are just some of the ways you’ll sabotage yourself in business and keep yourself small in your life. Conditioning has made you this way but it’s time to change that. Self belief and self-worth are the only ways your business will thrive. Have faith in yourself and trust that you have the power to be more confident in your business. So how can you boost your confidence and build yourself back up?
Here are my tips on taking the reins in your life and business and being seen and heard for a change.
Take the reins in your life and business and being seen and heard for a change.
1. Stop Overthinking Everything
Stop overthinking the value of your programmes, courses, products and services. Stop expecting the worst. One of the ways I get past this personally, is to treat everything like an experiment. I affirm that I am unique with my own style, opinions, and capabilities, and so are you! Everything is a learning curve. I treat all my work as an experiment and learn from it and tweak it accordingly.
As Seth Godin says ‘Just ship it’, in other words, just get your work out there.
Start thinking more about the transformation you can help your client achieve and less about what others might think.
2. Address the Blocks, Sabotages and Triggers
Blocks, triggers and sabotages are all signs from our internal system that something is out of kilter - something needs to be explored. Starting and building your business will create a lot of new experiences and situations, that may bring these to the forefront.
They may show up as imposter syndrome, procrastination, perfectionism, a fear of not being good enough, a fear of making mistakes, a fear of being judged, fear of visibility, not charging your worth, people pleasing and validation. Other signs include self-sabotage, being triggered by other people’s successes and overthinking your perceived failures or other people’s behaviour towards you.
Understanding why you're being triggered is key. Get comfortable with how these triggers make you feel, identify where they come from and challenge your negative inner critic with love, kindness and understanding.
3. Know what you want
You need to get clear on what you want more of in your life and business, and also what you want less of too. Identifying these 'more of' and 'less of' areas will provide a road map of what your priorities are in your life business right now, help you create boundaries and minimise any confusion and overwhelm you might be feeling. Create an ‘I want more of’ and an ‘I want less of’ list – this can be a mix of lifestyle, personal and professional goals to aim for, and keep the list on your desk as you go through your day as a reminder!
4. Big up your Boundaries
Having boundaries is the only way to diminish other people’s power over your time.
(a) Know what you want to achieve before starting a task and focus on one task at a time.
(b) Create boundaries around those energy vampires in your life who are a drain on your time, your energy and your attention.
(c) Stop giving your precious time, energy, creativity and capacity for fun and joy away for free – this will impact on your self-worth and leave you with an empty tank.
(d) Create boundaries around your time on social media. Your idols and heroes in business don’t waste their time checking out what everyone else is doing, and neither should you! Comparisonitis will destroy your self-confidence and is a complete waste of your time and energy - avoid at all costs.
(Learn more on creating boundaries on my podcast episode 25 called Big Up your Boundaries, there’s lots of nuggets in there for you! )
(e) Taking up space and selling our products and services through our stories. Selling is a difficult part of business for many women. We can find it hard to be visible as there’s safety in invisibility. Taking up space in our business means being visible, being out there on video, or in photos or via our website and words. You can take up space in the business world by starting small, try connecting with your potential clients through your story, amuse them with a funny story, bond with them through a life changing story, inspire them through a powerful story. You have so much to share, and your products and services deserve to be bought and used.
If there’s any way I can help you show up more in your business and help you remove some of these obstacles to the business and life you want book a free Clarity Call or email me at hello@lynseyhanratty.com.
